


Metronomes

by MechaNishishi



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, M/M, MonoMono Machine, Murder, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-06-01 14:47:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15145466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MechaNishishi/pseuds/MechaNishishi
Summary: Shuuichi just wanted to get a gift for Kiibo, why did this have to be the outcome?





	Metronomes

Shuuichi was frustrated, very, very frustrated. This stupid machine, the MonoMono Machine, just kept giving him metronomes. Spitting out the items every time he inserted a coin. And while it was nice having a gift for Kaede, he didn't imagine she would want twenty of them. It was metronome after metronome, and that bothered him to no end, because, really, this small machine should not carry that many music counters. 

He just wanted to get a gift for Kiibo while they were stuck in the academy, but no, apparently Monokuma couldn't let him have this one thing! More metronomes came out, and he lost more Monocoins as they fell to the floor. So, he continued, coin after coin until another item was finally received, Shuuichi felt a moment of relief.

Unfortunately, his relief quickly dissipated. it was Greek Yogurt, a food item, which Kiibo couldn't have any purpose for, as he was a robot. The robot would probably take offense to being given such an item. He kept going, a pile of Greek Yogurt and Metronomes pooling around him, his pile of misery; which began to get a few Japanese Doll Wigs as well. No other items were won, even as the detective had used over two hundred coins on it's machine. To make matters worse, the Greek Yogurt was covered in hair, rendering the items in his pile of misery and metronomes useless to everyone.

"Are you serious?!" He exclaimed in annoyance, "How many things are in this dumb machine?!" Shuuichi slammed his hand onto one of his metronomes, creating a sizeable hole in its front. he didn't care, and no one else would either, what with the other hundred copies of it strewn around the room.

He only wanted to do something sweet for his adorable boyfriend! Why couldn't the MonoMono machine understand that? Oh right, unlike Kiibo it was a useless piece of scrap metal that should go find it's way under a hydraulic press!

Wait.. he calmed slightly, a new item... and it's a... Tentacle Grabber?! What? Why?! Kiibo wouldn't want this shit, this was the type of thing Miu would enjoy. And Shuuichi was upset again, mainly because he had run out of coins to use the machine. He threw a metronome at the wall, screaming in frustration as it collided with the surface.

Just to further aggravate Shuuichi, whatever god existed, maybe Angie's, sent Kokichi through the door, laughing and grinning smugly at the detective as he pulled a coin out of his pocket, slipping it into the Coin Machine, and turning the crank handle. 

And it gave him an Autumn Scarf! Of course, it did! 

Shuuichi gripped a metronome tightly, deciding to try persuasion. "Ouma-Kun, Please give me the scarf!" He pleaded, struggling to keep a calm face, but failing and showing just how frazzled he was, "I can't give you much, but I have metronomes and hairy Greek Yogurt!" 

Without waiting for a reply, or thinking, Shuuichi whipped one of his metronomes at the supreme leader's head. The scarf slipped out of Kokichi's hand in shock, and another of the metronomes smacking into his side didn't help much.

"Sto-" Kokichi tried to protest, getting hit in the head with a bowl of Yogurt. The ceramic item shattered, shards cutting into his face as he shrieked. Shuuichi didn't care. He snapped, bombarding Kokichi with the ticking Music counters that broke on impact, and left bloody smears on his face and white outfit.

Shuuichi retrieved the scarf, quickly absconding from the store and throwing another of his deadly metronomes at Kokichi. 

He found Kiibo, smiling thinly as he gave the gift to his, now ecstatic, boyfriend. Kiibo smiled widely, professing how he would need to top the gift later, and pressing a kiss to Shuuichi's cheek. It was a happy moment, was being the key word, as a body discovery announcement rang out seconds later, telling everyone to gather in the school store. And, oh no, he killed Kokichi with metronomes and Greek Yogurt.

"Crap." The detective uttered, sweating nervously. He wondered how high his chances of winning were.

**Author's Note:**

> In case you're wondering, this is based off how much I hate the damn machine in the game. 
> 
> Oh, and I have an idea for a prequel, so if you want that, go ahead and ask for it.


End file.
